Caption This is from a trip Noah took to Toronto with Lisa. Not only is Noah bisexual, he also enjoys giving felatio to those of the bovine persuasion.

Noah lives two floors below the tower girls, but is a pretty much permanent fixture upstairs. He's got blue hair, wears turtleneck sweaters, and smokes a lot of pot. He's also a pretty decent lay. Lately, Noah has been experimenting with smoking various herbs from the local health food store as a money-saving measure. If this causes death, we'll post a list of herbs he was smoking so you too don't face his sad fate.

C: Hello there Noah, won't you sit down? I've got your red balloon right there for you. I know how you love it. That's right...pretty balloon!

N: (smiles dully, and then has a violent exchange with Debby as she passes by the door to Christie's room)

C: Right, let's get started.

N: Oooh! Red balloon!

C: Okay then...

N: Do you want me to sit on the couch, what? Do something funny?

C: Er... not exactly... Now, why exactly are you a member of the Tower?

N: Because Vanessa and Lisa made me one...

(Lisa walks in)

N: (to Lisa) Good to see you wearing clothing again. Last time I saw you, you demanded I take off your pants, and Vanessa take off your shirt!

L: Wait, I was wearing a shirt when I got up? How'd it get back on?

N: I don't know.

L: Whatevs...(leaves the room)

N: Okay, so... wait...you don't have to type that in... wait, please, no! (glares)

C: So, interesting facial hair you're growing there.

N: Same to you!

C: Fuck you! (begins beating Noah with inflatable pillow). Wow, this interview certainly is violent. Why does everyone hate you so much, Noah?

N: (Smiles stupidly...then laughs) Because they're so jealous that I got to fool around with you? (he gives Christe bedroom eyes and a sly smile)

C: No, I don't think that's it... I fooled around with pretty much everybody else soon after. Do you think it's something to do with your winning personality?

N: (eyes widen at the prospect of Christie and Lisa dyking it out, then shakes his head to clear his mind) I don't think it's so much hate, but a misdirected enbodyment of lust that is all-consuming... (his voice trails off as he looks at birth control pills on Christie's counter) Good to see you're still regulating your hormones.

C: I try. It keeps the acne, pregnany, and excessive body hair at bay.

N: Damned if I could tell...

C: (pops Noah like a zit) You know, you could be replaced. It's easy to find blue-haired twits wandering campus. Really, it is. Most of them more likable than you.

(Noah starts a water-fight)

C: (shrieks) You just wanted to see me in a wet t-shirt!

N: (pouts like he was caught) Er...actually, I'm pretty sure it was you that wanted to show it off...

C: And if I did? What's wrong with a confident woman? Misogynist! MISOGYNIST!

N: Um...(dances to Pixies music, giggling manically) I think this interview is biased.

(Christie runs around the room, chanting "misogynist" and pointing at Noah)

N: Heheheh...misogynist...gyno...genitals...I like genitals. (examines birth control pills again)

C: Geeze, if you want one that bad... but I'll warn you, it'll make your man-tits get even bigger...

(wrestling match... Noah wins...Christie curses and pops another steriod pill)

C: Soon, you won't be victorious.

N: Victory nothing! Tits are sexy!

C: They are? Really? Shit, you mean...

N: Present company excepted.

C: Crap. Looks like it's another suicide attempt for me.

N: (giggles like a schoolgirl...a really, really, dim, girly schoolgirl) Another notch in my belt tonight. Hey! I don't laugh like a schoolgirl!

C: Was this your plan all along? I mean, is the dim-thing just an act, and you're really a manipulative, muderous, evil bastard?

N: Marry 'em and bury 'em, that's what I always say...

C: Where's my ring?

N: I'z da lady killah! Werd!

C: So, where is this rumoured wit you've reffered to so frequently? I've seen nothing of it.

N: No!(he whines) In order for there to be a retort, you have to...er...

C: Aren't you the clever one? Aw, Noah's so cwever, I just wanna eat him up! You cwute widdle cwever boy!

(Noah attacks Christie with a water bottle, claiming it's a cleaver... possibly brought up by the similarity between the words "clever" and "cleaver" and Christie's extremely condecending tone)

C: Riiiighht. Wanna fuck?

N: Not by my dick's response. I'm going to go smoke weed now. WAIT! Don't include that in the interview. Damn you! Stop doing that...She writes everything I say! Note to self...stop speaking out lo-...right. (nods knowingly, like he think's he's got it all figured out, then places his finger over his lips, nods, and leaves the room).

C: What a dolt.

FIN.